X Marks the Spot

Here's the link to the Ontario Liberal membership registration page.

Membership is only $10.

Trust me, it's a deal. You will instantaneously be a member of the great Liberal tradition in Ontario, the one in which you find ways to work less.

I know, I know, it sounds like a bad thing to be a part of. We all talk about working hard, and increasing productivity, and we really romanticize the notion of people pushing themselves. In reality, however, the only thing you really want to be pushing is more beer into your gullet. It's okay. Work is overrated. Enjoy life, take a day off, make a promise you can't keep. Be a Liberal.

As you well know by now, since it's probably going to be the least explosive and most joked about election promise of the provincial campaign, Premier Dalton McGuinty announced today that, if re-elected, he would introduce a new holiday into the year.

It will come on the third Monday of every February, which is also known by many Ontarians as the time of year when we'd rather be dead than scraping ice off our cars and shovelling away the mountain range of ice and snow the plow left at the foot of our driveways. AGAIN!

In other words, a vacation at that time of year is a good idea. We need it. We deserve it. And Saskatchewan and Alberta already have it, and Manitoba starts celebrating it next year, so why can't we, too?

This new holiday, McGuinty said, will be known as Family Day. Granted, that sounds about as exciting as becoming a member of the Liberal Party, but it makes sense because, you see, there are families in Ontario, and families really need a day in which to celebrate the existence of that entity. Because none of us see enough of our families. Really. Honestly. Ever since I moved out of my parents' house, all I've wanted are more opportunities to go home and be ignored by my parents while they watch Coronation Street. Thanks, Dalton, for giving me that opportunity.

Even though it is called Family Day, I don't think seeing your family will be part of the legislation that will bring the holiday into existence. So, really, you can spend it any way you like.

I'm going to spend it canvassing my neighbourhood signing up people to the Liberal Party. Maybe, if we get enough members, we can convince McGuinty to throw in another long weekend, just for fun. We'll call it, umm, I don't know, maybe Pet Day, since, here in Ontario, there are pets, and that should really be more widely and openly acknowledged, and celebrated.