Mississauga Musings

WEDNESDAY'S "GENCOM" MEETING SOUNDS LIKE A RIPE ONE, HO YEAHHHHHhhh

Nutz! NUTZ! NUTZ! I'm going to miss it! (I'd ask Don Barber to record it for me but he'd need two personal mini-Pelcos front and rear to be safe inside city hall so I'm doomed.)

Man oh man, this Mississauga General Committee agenda should be one for the books!

First there's the very END! Yes, when checking a Corporation of Mississauga Council agenda, I always check the very end first! And what do we have for the first meeting for 2008 but our first In-Camera (CLOSED SESSION) session!

"CLOSED SESSION

(Pursuant to Subsection 239(3.1) of the Ontario Municipal Act, 2001, as amended)
Educational Session to provide City Council with information in preparation for negotiations of a streetlighting contract."

There it is. "Educational Session" --yet another, new way that Ontario Municipalities can now hide behind closed doors to ensure the public --and media-- DON'T get educated. All perfectly legal thanks to the Evil-er Empire Bill 130. (Yes, "Evil-er" Empire Bill --the original Evil Empire Bill is the 2001 Municipal Act.)

Allowing municipalities to hold all their "Educational Session"s behind closed doors ensures that mayor and councillors throughout Ontario keep That Incumbency Advantage. After all, if Knowledge is Power, the McGuinty Government guaranteed all New Knowledge is funnelled directly into and behind closed council chamber doors.

And this "Educational Session" is even of a "contract"ual nature --another legit reason to tuck oneself in. And "streetlighting" sounds all Enersourcey to me.

KUDOS MCGUINTY!

Now I know what ol' Dalton would say if he were typing right now. He'd say:

"But wait, we made certain this new 'Educational Session' provision can be challenged by the public. We guaranteed that beginning January 1, 2008, municipal Closed Door 'Educational Sessions' can be investigated."

Yes. Sure. But McGuinty's definition of "investigated" doesn't pass the "reasonable person test" let alone the smell test.

The Corporation of the City of Mississauga chose to duck the Ontario Ombudsman and chose the Association of Municipalities of Ontario/Local Authority Services' hired-and-inspired "investigators".

Unlike some municipalities charging citizens $250 for this "Local Authority Services", Mississauga's LAS-charade is for free.

"EDUCATIONAL SESSION" "INVESTIGATION"

Yep. Like right now, I could make Bill 130 History and lob the first Mississauga CLOSED SESSION challenge –for FREE. (And who's better qualified? Who more motivated?)

But I won't. I refuse to dignify this bogus Local Authority Services "investigator" garbage (pronounced "gar BAHJ") even for free!

Fact is, the Niagara Council's January 9th open-to-the-public Corporate Services meeting involving presentations by the Ontario Ombudsman's office and Local Authority Services would certainly have qualified as an "Educational Session". Niagara Council could've elected to scuttle-and-squat behind closed doors. To their credit, they didn't.

YO! MISSISSAUGA COUNCIL!

Won't be me –EVER—to challenge one of your "closed sessions" –no matter what the provocation. "Local Authority Services" investigator?… No thanks. Not even for free! (BLEAAHHHHH… that'd be like chomping down on a ****!)

Speaking of ****s, back to Wednesday's agenda.

"MISSISSAUGA ALCOHOL POLICY

INDEX - GENERAL COMMITTEE – January 16, 2008

12. Municipal Alcohol Policy"

Pooh. Too bad I'm missing that "Moved, Seconded, Passed" non-discussion. Guaranteed no matter what's in the Mississauga "Municipal Alcohol Policy", if a citizen were to breach it, Mississauga City Security would be involved.

Now I haven't seen that Mississauga "Municipal Alcohol Policy", but Mississauga Council should save citizens some trouble. Just create a "Municipal Alcohol Policy" brochure with the words "ABANDON ALL HOPE OH YE WHO BOOZE" in Corporate Blue unfriendly letters and that'd be a lot more Transparent.

AND SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST…

Love this part:

"13. Resolution of Cybersquatter Problem and Recommendation that the City Solicitor be authorized to settle Intellectual Property matters Corporate Report dated January 2, 2008 from the City Solicitor with respect to the resolution of the Cybersquatter problem and a recommendation that the City Solicitor be authorized to settle intellectual property matters."

"Intellectual property"… Ummm, doesn't Mississauga have to be intellectual to have intellectual property? And does that mean I can't use my very own intellectual creation of "Mississauga"-the-verb, as in:

MISSISSAUGA'd AGAIN!

And then there's this:

"2. That the part of the Report dated January 2, 2008 from the City Solicitor describing the resolution of the Cybersquatter problem relating to the domain names "mississaugatransit.ca" and "mississaugalibrary.ca" be received for information."

"mississaugatransit.ca" and "mississaugalibrary.ca"

Hey, Mississauga better get on this FAST. Because I can think of:

"mississaugamayor.ca"
"mississaugacouncil.ca"
"mississaugacorporateservices.ca"
"mississaugacommunityservices.ca"
"mississaugaparksandrecreation.ca"
"mississaugawaterfrontparks.ca"
"mississaugasafecity.ca"
"mississaugamymississauga.ca"
"mississaugamovingforward.ca"
"mississaugaleadingtodayfortomorrow.ca"
"mississaugatrustqualityexcellence.ca"
"mississaugathebestcityincanada.ca"

and my personal favourite:

"mississaugacorporatesecurity.ca"

and the alternate:

"mississaugacitysecurity.ca"

And then there's that part:

"RECOMMEND APPROVAL"

Bet your boots, this'll be another Mississauga Council "Pro Forma":

"Any discussion? All in favour? Moved, Seconded, Passed"

(Unless someone from Mississauga Council is reading this, in which case the empty council benches will be treated to questions like "What's 'cyber' mean and how can you squat on one?" which shows why "Educational Sessions" really should be held behind closed doors).

ONE LAST THING

We're currently on Maui and we have two pieces of Mississauga "Intellectual Property" that includes the corporate logo. One's called "The Edward R. Murrow" and the other "The Andre Marin".

We've re-dedicated these two City of Mississauga 6 feet by 3 feet pole flags two days ago during our 2008 kayak "shake-down" voyage. So...

This video is dedicated to my hero, Edward R. Murrow --and to Andre Marin, our Ontario Ombudsman (with our thanks)

YOUTUBE VIDEO -- "MAUI KAYAK to MISSISSAUGA COUNCIL" (Featuring: Mississauga Council pro-forma'ing)

(Click here to surf directly to YouTube, Municipal Dudes!)

Signed,
The (Allow the Ontario Ombudsman into Municipalities!) Mississauga Muse

P.S. Blogs will be sporadic for this month just so you know. In addition to our usual sea turtle research, we're also conducting comparative observations into Maui County vs Mississauga municipal governance. More about that later.

Plus today, we have to design and then learn to fly ---the Korporate Kite!
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"In contrast to the local law enforcement agencies, Corporate Security provides a distinct difference in approach to providing a safe and secure environment within the community." --City of Mississauga Corporate Security 2003 Strategic Draft Plan

"We must employ every possible tactic to dissuade those who try to silence us with fear" ---The Mississauga News Editorial (2007-03-24)

FOR READERS' COMMENTS --SCROLL TO VERY BOTTOM OF THIS ENTRY.

FELLOW-CITIZEN BLOGGERS

The CRYSTAL BEACH STRAND (Fort Erie Citizen-Blogger, Sharon Bowers)
TORONTOIAM (compilation of GTA Blogs)
Voices of Ajax (Citizen-Blogger, Karem Allen)
WindsorCityBlog (Citizen-Blogger, Ed Arditti)
Woodstock Ontario Independent News (Jim Bender)

FURTHER READING

Links to all "Antonio Batista Pothole Poet Trial" Blog entries have been moved to our alternate MISSISSAUGA WATCH Blogspace. Please click here.

MEDIA Bloggers:
Click here for John Stewart's Blog, RANDOM ACCESS
and Craig MxBride's X MARKS THE SPOT

"MISSISSAUGA --HOWZIT'S GOING" CARTOON ARCHIVE

Links to all previous cartoons in the Mississauga Howzit's Going series.
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