Random Access

It’s a question Ryan Maiato has been asked a lot. A question she’s thought about before.
Why me?
Indeed, why was she attacked by juvenile rheumatoid arthritis before she was out of diapers? Why has the disease and the clutch of complications it spawned left her, at age 19, the size of a five-year-old, unable to walk, and reliant on a new therapy that gives her nourishment through a daily IV, since her body will not absorb food normally.
“I think about that a lot,” she says when asked why she has such a large burden to bear.
Her response is calm, deliberate and measured. “You try not to be bitter about it. You don't want to feel sorry for yourself but you just can’t help it. When you have an illness like this, it’s unfair.”
Although her appearance may not suggest it, her words confirm that Ryan is one very mature teenager. It seems the wrong kind of maturity, however. A wisdom brought on by too many trips to the hospital, too much knowledge about a disease that people (inaccurately) associate with old age and too many introspective sessions with the copious journals she keeps.
It is when the conversation turns to reading and writing that the fire begins to show in the eyes and the voice of the 19-year-old student at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Secondary School.
“When I’m writing a poem, it makes me feel good,” said Ryan in her Meadowvale home. “Writing calms me down. I’m happy to write.”
And read: J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter, of course, Lorlene McDaniel, and the inestimable Robert Munsch, with whom she has corresponded.
She’s written her own children’s stories too, testing them out on her cousins. She also wrote an article about, “people who are different,” for Mount Carmel’s school paper, an article which drew an enthusiastic response.
Ryan obviously has a flair for expressing her feelings. Here’s something she wrote last year about what living with arthritis is like.
“I have lived in worry my whole life. At age 16, I had a trauma to my head, caused by a simple headache. I almost lost my life.
“A year after that I broke my hip. Now I can’t walk altogether. Not walking has taken away a great part of me, my freedom and my independence. Arthritis gave me grief and it lead to all my problems, like my lack of walking.
“But it hasn’t taken away my hope. My friends and family say I have a great attitude. They say I’m an inspiration. So, despite my illness, I’m happy with what I have so far. My family, my friends and my hope.”