Random Access

Amid all the fireworks about the portrait of Hazel McCallion that was pulled out of the window of Byron Osmond's photography shop in Port Credit last week, nobody seemed to notice something important: what a hell of a good piece of art it was.
Forget the slanging match with the Business Improvement Area and the letter demanding that the material deemed "offensive to the community" be removed. Forget professional malcontent Donald Barber plunking himself down in the middle of the controversy to stir the pot.
Just look at the work.
Osmond used an old photo of the mayor, which he blew up and overlaid with chalk and watercolours, to create a portrait that is obviously intended to be unflattering.
In an accompanying poster in his store window, he states that "I didn't know that my first painted portrait was going to be political."
He's being disingenuous, of course.
If you give Hazel purple hair, cover her with red footprints (which Osmond's four-year-old child supplied) and assign the Orwellian label "1984" to her makeover, you can't really pretend to be surprised when the result is deemed political.
The work is truly striking and, surprisingly, I don't find it necessarily unflattering.
The strange colours on the periphery accentuate McCallion's piercing stare and the taut slash of her mouth in concentration, something a lot of Mississaugans have learned to recognize and/or fear.
It is the eyes that make the piece: cool, inquisitive and full of wary intelligence.
It may not have been intended as such but the work is clearly a reflection, and a tribute of sorts, to the woman's strength.
It may have been intended to diss McCallion but, ironically, it will just add to the legend.
The mayor has seen it all before and greeted the whole controversy with the diffidence it deserved. You won't find her throwing gasoline on the fire by taking offence.
"I believe it's a big joke," she said. I consider it to be (comparable to) a cartoon."
If she'd been up to date on the entire background of the issue, the mayor would probably have expressed her gratitude at not being the winner in another photo competition that Osmond held at his store: the Best Bums contest.
The disgruntled photo shop owner, who says he's leaving town because of the lack of support for his business, is obviously awarding that dubious title for the board members of the BIA.